For a long time school overwhelmed my life. I mean, it literally took over everything. If my homework wasn't done then I wouldn’t let myself do anything else. School came first. Always.
Even after I came to college this was true. But college was the first time in my life that I lived with friends! In high school I had friends, but I was unusual in the way that I didn't hang out with them on a Fridays nights, after school, or in the summer. I was a family girl. I loved watching movies with my family on the weekends. I would run errands with my parents and spend the majority of my time doing homework and I was totally happy doing all of it. College changed all of that. (I still love my family very much, but I'm not as content to spend all my time with them or to spend so much time alone.)
My 'coming to Christ' experience was not something that happened all at once. I grew up in a Christian household and I had all the head knowledge. I grew up learning the stories of the Old Testament (Adam and Eve, Moses, Joseph, Daniel, etc) and many of the parables and stories from the New Testament, including of course the idea that we all sin but Jesus came to die for us so that we can go to heaven. I knew all of this in my head but I didn't really know it in my heart. There is a difference between knowing the truth and KNOWING THE TRUTH that I didn't realize existed until a year and a half ago.
Even the process of KNOWING THE TRUTH was a gradual one but there is one night that's sticks out more than others in my mind. During the first BASIC (a worship night on campus) of my sophomore year the song 'The Stand' was played. For you who don't know the song here are the lyrics...
You stood before creation
Eternity within Your hand
You spoke the earth into motion
My soul now to stand
You stood before my failure
Carried the Cross for my shame
My sin weighed upon Your shoulders
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You
So I'll walk upon salvation
Your Spirit alive in me
This life to declare Your promise
My soul now to stand
So what can I say
What can I do
But offer this heart O God
Completely to You
So I'll stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
So I'll stand
My soul Lord to You surrendered
All I am is Yours
...I was filled with a sense of amazement that night. Standing there in a room with hundreds of college students singing "I'll stand with arms high and heart abandoned" was awe-inspiring! It is truly beyond words. I can't describe what happened that night or how God used it to change me, but after that I became a new person. 1 Corinthians 5:17 “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”
School didn't come first anymore. Friends were great but they weren't what I was living for either. Christ became the center of my being. I'm not saying that the change was easy or happened overnight, but it happened and it's still happening.
I joined a small group through BASIC Plus. (For those of you who are new Christians or Christians who have never had a group like that I cannot possibly explain the difference it made in my life. I would more that strongly suggest becoming part of one!!!). In a small group there is a group of people who will pray with/for you in good times and bad. They will be there for you through everything. And maybe more important, they are a great way to make friends and be in fellowship with other believers!
I started to not only go to church but to really become involved in it. I went to a church picnic where, a now very special friend introduced herself to me and I began to meet people. I began to work in the nursery, which got me more involved. Now church is one of the highlights of my week.
As many of you know (or can probably learn by looking at my blog and my Facebook statuses) music means so much to me. I began to listen to Christian music. Music holds so much emotion in it and there are so many songs that speak such truth. And it seems like the right song comes on the radio just as I need it :). God is soooo cool!!!!!
Becoming a Christian did not make my life easier. In fact I wouldn't argue if someone told me it actually made my life more difficult. Being in college, or more specifically, since I've been a Christian, I've had some of my highest emotional highs but I've also had some of lowest emotional lows. Before, life was just a couple shades of gray. I just went through life without giving a whole lot of thought to others or even to many aspects of my own life. I was happy because I didn't know the difference, but now my life has been filled with color. Yes some of them are dark, but some of them are brilliant reds, yellows, greens, blues, etc. And some of them are the brightest white I've ever seen. I wouldn't go back no matter how difficult my life has become. I wouldn't change anything. And in the dark colored times I am learning to turn to and depend on Christ to swallow the darkness and bring me into the light once more. :)
