Friendships

A year ago my best friend moved away-and I don’t mean that know we just live in different towns, but now we live over 17 hours away from each other (by car).  During our senior year of college, when I learned she was moving, I was heartbroken.  I had friends in high school but none even compared to the friendship that Stephanie and I shared.  She said she would move back to Iowa (and it’s still a possibility) but even then I knew that she would get new friends, get a job, join a church, possibly meet a boy that would grow into a relationship that would make her want to stay there…in short, she would start a new life there.

I’ve been praying for months that God would send me a friend, one that lives in the same town as me, who becomes as good of a friend as she is.  Other than my husband, she still is my closest friend, but it’s hard to stay in touch.  We don’t talk very often because neither of us is very good at just picking up the phone and calling each other.  But also, when you live that far apart and don’t share life anymore it takes a lot of work to stay close-you’re life experiences are different.  She went to grad school, something I never did.  I got married, something that’s still in her future.  We both grew up and changed and we didn’t do it by each other’s side.  Don’t get me wrong!  As I said we are still very good friends; it’s just different than before.

As I’ve been praying for a friend, I’ve started to ponder what made us such good friends.  Living together for four years certainly had something to do with it.  We were put together as random roommates as freshman through some weird circumstances.  And even though we weren’t much alike, we started to form a friendship at some point that year.  I’m someone who keeps to myself and would consider myself shy in many circumstances while she is very outgoing and willing to try new things, so it was through her that I started to hang out with friends and make memories.  This means that when she stayed up until 2 in the morning on a Friday night, I did too.  We shared walks and nights out with friends.  As I stated before, we simply did life together.  But I think it’s more than living together.  After all, many people live together and just get annoyed and mad at each other.

During our freshman year, Stephanie began to introduce me to Jesus and at the beginning of our sophomore year I began to grow in a relationship with him.  I remember coming back to our dorm room on Tuesday and Thursday nights and before starting homework we would talk about what each of our small groups had talked about that night.  On Wednesday’s we talked about what God was doing in the lives of kids at church, on Sunday’s we came home from church and talked about how the service had touched us in some way.  We confessed sins to each other; we shared joys, and sorrows, struggles, and triumphs.  And we gave all the glory to God.

This is what made us so close.  God gave us our friendship, and grew us in our relationship with him at the same time.  So I’m still praying for that friend.  I won’t share the experience of literally living with a stranger who becomes a friend again, but I still have God.  God can bring me a friend who I am willing to share everything with again and by sharing life, I can gain another friend.  Stephanie and my husband will always be priority relationships that I cherish and can’t wait to grow, but I think there’s room for more.  I just have to wait on God and be willing to also put effort into the other relationships I already have.